Singapore, Markus Fann
One question that often plagues us is the search for purpose. Why do I exist? Why am I here? What is my purpose? As a believer, it is often compounded with the additional question of What does God want of me?
In moments where I have struggled with these questions, I like to imagine that Jesus had, at some point in His life, asked these very same questions.
Unfortunately, I cannot say I have found those answers and I promise you nothing ground-breaking. However, I would like to share some thoughts I’ve been wrestling with at this stage of my journey, and I hope that it, in-turn, helps you as we search for life’s purpose in submission to Christ.
There is a heave in my chest as Bryan and Katie Torwait’s song, “When You Walk Into The Room” begins to play. I start to sing but I choke up and my voice drops. As the music fills my senses, memories of my life flickers through my mind — the hurt, the bitterness, the places of abject brokenness. Yet, the overwhelming feeling that envelopes as worship rises up is the amazing, powerful, restorative hands of the Lord as I let Him consume all I am, giving Him permission into the depths of my heart, and allowing him to stand with me in the grime of my life. His restorative hands, deftly bringing reconciliation to the seemingly irreconcilable portions of my life. In that space, I feel the gentle pull of Christ as he brings me to a place where I am confronted by my sins and His immense love for me, and I choose Him.
Amidst the chaos, God has continuously extended his hand of reconciliation. As I spat at His design, kicked dirt at His love, swore at His promises, and defied His commandments, God has always extended His hand of reconciliation. It is these experiences that has allowed me to see this facet of God more clearly; He is a God who is interested in building, rebuilding and in reconciliation.
It dawned on me that the Bible, taken as a whole is the story of God’s constant desire and design to reconcile man to Himself. Again and again, we see allegories of saviour-types through the Bible, each connecting the dots and laying the foundation for God’s ultimate plan. Separated by sin and our own doing, God has never stopped calling out to us, and finally bridging the great divide through Christ Jesus. His death being the ultimate act that paves the way for our reconciliation.
I am beginning to see the magnitude of His purpose and my thoughts race. I was seen. I was known. He knew I would be lost. He knew that I would desire to be found. He paid the price. He paved the way. And when the time came, He gently reconciled me to Him. The words of Paul start to make sense. The façade comes off and all my achievements beautifully draped over me are but filthy rags in the face of the unmerited love of Christ.
He has walked into the room. Everything has changed. And I am humbled.
How then do I begin to live out this newly reconciled life that Christ has brought me into? What is my purpose then? If I am to be like Jesus, then perhaps, my overarching purposes in wherever I am called and in whatever I do, is to also bring reconciliation.
